Houston, we're go for launch

 Ain't nothin to it but to do it!

70's and sunny on a perfect Saturday

*Lung X-Ray - check

*Negative Covid test - check

*Mental status - Alert and ready for action

*Summary - Cognition grossly intact

Summary:

Patient appears optimized for the planned surgery. Further testing not required prior to surgery.

It's Monday morning, the 22nd. Snow is gently falling outside, a piping hot cup of coffee sits next to me and the reality of things are coming on strong. 

It's not like I'm in denial about all of this, but it has seemed surreal since the first diagnosis. The speed at which all of this information has come about as well as the research, decision making and severity of the situation has made the last 2.5 months absolutely fly by. 

Time is such a personal and situational measure of things and my time has felt like a movie in the sense that I walk around and appear to be completely normal to everyone else. I'll never forget what it feels like to appear normal and tell people that I'm about to undergo open heart surgery in a few days. 

Surreal doesn't even describe the experience.

Consent forms have been signed, risks and complications explained, and pre-surgery materials in hand. (spirometer, antibacterial soap) 

Going over all of the final details really hammers home the reality of things.

How low can you go? 

We spent a day last weekend as well as part of Sunday this weekend shopping for 'powered recliners' for my recovery. I never thought I'd be shopping for an assisted/powered recliner at 38! I'm sure all of the sales people thought we were just messing around, going back and forth, up and down, lumbar support, head support, massage, heat etc. But in reality it'll be where I end up sleeping for a good number of weeks during recovery, as well as the need for a powered recliner as I cannot lift, push, pull or do ANYTHING that puts stress on my sternum as it heals. Time to get comfortable with asking for help.

Marshmallow. You've got a piece of my heart

I've had the pleasure of overwhelming support (in the best way possible) from friends and family leading up to this. Weirdly enough it's 'nice' to have friends and family that have gone through OHS to offer advice as well as some aids for recovery. Thanks Alvin!

I also need to say: THANK YOU to each and every one of you who has donated and purchased an OHS support patch! Holy smokes I've been BLOWN AWAY at the outpouring of love. I FEEL IT and you've helped immensely to ease my stress!

I'm headed into the shop today to wrap up a few things and get everything shut down/cleaned up. I'm gonna miss that place and the guys at the shop. It's been so nice to have a workshop away from home. That along with the constant buzz from upstairs during working hours helps make the days go by much faster. It's a strange thing to have to shut down your own business. No asking for time off, no medical leave, no limits to time away, uncertainty of what I'll come back to...

Owning your own business and being your own boss has been one of the coolest and craziest things I've done in my life. I make myself go to the shop 5-6 days each week. I work well past closing time everyday as it's my passion as well as my livelihood and I truly love what I do. I know I'll be back, but it's still unnerving to have to close... Ugh 

But I want you to know something.

I want you to know that I'm ok!

Mentally, physically, emotionally. I am ok. I couldn't BE more ready for the operation and I look forward to waking up without the anxiety and worry that I've had for the past 2.5 months leading up to this, let alone the 'knowing' I've had in the back of my mind for 38yrs. Holy shit, goodbye worrying!

Thursday morning I'll be headed into the O.R at 5:30am and the expected time is ~6hrs for surgery. Game. ON!

Love

-Joe

Hittin' that spirometer in the classiest jammies